Shattered Souls and the Healing Dawn
by Twi-guyChupp
Summary: Edward Swan has just moved to Forks. He fakes emotions every day as his deep depression consumes his life. But then he meets Alice Cullen, someone who shares his pain and offers him some solace amongst the growing darkness.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Twilight series and universe. **

**Chapter 1**

_Awake__… _

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling, the cold burning my face. I let out a shallow breath with steam escaping from my lips. My eyes followed the beautiful shapes slowly spiral towards the roof as they melted into the air. I closed my eyes. Today was my first day at a new school, Forks High School. In fact, it was also my first week in a new state. Forks was a completely different planet compared to Phoenix. Under the constant cover of cloud and rain, the almost non existent sun appearing was a rare occurrence.

I hated this place. I hated the atmosphere, I hated the weather and I hated the fact that I was doomed to this shitstain of a town for the next few years of my already shit life. I only moved here because my father, who I lived with in Phoenix, died a month ago. He lost his long and bitter battle with cancer.

I'd thought I'd be more upset with that, but the truth was that I never really knew him so well. He split up with my mother about 10 years ago, when I was just 7 years old. It was a pretty difficult time for me. They both moved to separate states and were granted shared custody of me. I lived with my father for most of the year in Phoenix and visited my mother for a small part of the winter. Its not like I didn't like my mother, it was just that our relationship was strained, awkward. This was because I reminded her so much of my father, who she still loved, but he got the impression that she was holding him down, and that he could do better and much greater things.

He did in a way though, he was a successful businessman and travelled often (one of the reasons why we weren't so close.) Don't get me wrong, he was a cool guy and I'm disappointed that he's gone, I just think I'm more sad and afraid because of the current state of my own life, not his death. I'm sad and depressed of the fact that life is a bitch.

Your entire life is already planned and aimed at goals already set by your parents. You go to preschool to prepare you for elementary school, you got to elementary school to prepare you for high school, you go to high school so that you can get a good job, you get a good job to get money and you "want" money so you can support a family. But in the end, what do we really want, a happy family? A well paying job? To have a long lasting effect on society?

But when it all comes down to the end, no matter how hard we've worked, how much we've loved or how happy we are, we all end up the exact same. Alone, cold, and dead. And when we do, there will be nothing. We will not feel anything, we will not be anything. We won't exist.

So that's it. That's what life is, a game of strategy that we all play. But no matter how differently we've played, there is no winner, we are all losers. I didn't need Charlies death to help me realise this. I new it since I was old enough to know that Santa Clause or heaven doesn't exist, and for me that was a young age.

_Oh well _I thought. _At least it will all be over eventually. Ill finally get to rest peacefully without any worries that life could force upon me. No work, no school and no people to tell me what I can or cannot do, what I want, or what I have done wrong. One day, _I smiled at the thought. _I'll die. _

I sluggishly opened my eyes again. I glanced at my bedside clock. _Fuck._ I slept in. I reluctantly got out of bed, letting the air freeze my skin. _At least the cold will keep me awake_. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. When I was done I looked into the mirror. A pair of dark green eyes stared back at me. I looked away. I couldn't stand the sight of my face. I hated it. _I hate everything these days_. I got dressed and trudged down stairs. My mother, Renee, had left for work already, at the police station. She's the Chief of police. To my friends back 'home', that meant that I could get it easy if I was caught with drugs or something. And I did get it "easy". But when I say easy, I mean 'not getting locked in a cell' easy. But that's as easy as I would get it, Renee was normally a quiet woman, but she had a side to her that could give out all these different punishments that would make you never want to rebel against the law again.

I skipped breakfast and walked over to my 1953 Chevrolet pickup parked in the driveway. The truck was a gift from Billy Black, a close friend of my mothers. His son, Jacob, was a good mechanic and helped fix the Chevy up. He was a pretty friendly guy. I got in the car and drove reluctantly to school.

…

_Awake… _

My eyes shot open.

"Another vision?" Jasper asked. I nodded.

"Are you ok?" He could sense my raw emotion. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I'm fine"

I don't know why I lied; I knew that Jasper could feel my fear, my depression. But like a like a true gentleman, he didn't press further into the matter. He knew that if I wanted to tell him the truth, I would of. Instead, he changed the mood of the room to a happier and lighter tone.

"I think I'm gonna go and get changed for school" I smiled. He nodded. I didn't really want to change for school, or rather, I didn't care. I didn't care anymore on how I looked, or what others thought of me anymore. The clothes were just an excuse to get out of the room. I usually would have welcomed Jasper making me feel happier but now I had to think clearly without anyone having an affect on my thoughts. I entered my room and locked the door. I knew it wouldn't do anything, it was just an old human habit. One that I don't even remember having.

I lied down on the floor and curled up in a foetal position. With my knees tucked under my chin and my arms holding myself together, I felt slightly more comfortable, slightly more safe. I closed my eyes and replayed the vision in my mind.

_I __stood alone in a small opening in the middle of a forest. The trees shot up towards the sky and blocked out all light. A tear leaked out of my eye. It rolled down my frozen cheek and clung to my chin. It formed into a droplet and as it grew larger and held on for dear life. Finally, the tear gave way and cascaded towards the decomposing forest floor. Before I could hear the sound of the tiny _splash _of the first droplet, another tear began to form. As the tears gushed out of my soulless body, I felt nothing. I could not feel the freezing air, I could not feel moisture that each tear left behind. I was alone, numb, and I would be forever. _

The vision was one that I had been having for almost a month now. It showed me my endless future that there would be no escape from. I had the same one over and over again everyday. But with each passing night, the trees grew a little taller and the world was darker. My eyelids slowly lifted and for the thousandth time, I was forced back into my nightmare of a reality. I didn't know that I was crying until I felt the carpet grow moist. I wiped away my tears and got up.

Dressed in fresh clothes, I went downstairs to the garage and where Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie were waiting for me. I faked a smile as I met their gaze. I faked happiness everyday now and no one but Jasper knew what I really felt. I guess I was a good liar. We all got into the jeep with Emmet at the wheel as we sped down the road. I was not yet ready to face another day of pointless school. _I'm never ready._

**Authors note: **

**Hey thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I know it seems a little dark but hey, it is a story about vampires. But it does get happier. Also, some constructive criticism and reviews/comments would be great! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the content based in the Twilight series. **

**Chapter 2 **

The first half of my first day passed in a blur. The gossiping whispers of adolescent teens flooding the air made me uneasy. I wasn't used to this kind of attention. Heads turned as I walked past followed by hushed giggles. This was kindergarten and I was the shiny new toy.

At lunch I struggled to find the cafeteria, in the end I figured it would be the building that _everyone___was heading towards. A group of people invited me to the table. _Might as well make some friends _I thought_. _I sat next to a girl named Jessica or something. Apparently she was in my Spanish class. She had wild, curly, dark brown hair and blue eyes. I knew a lot of people like her back at Phoenix. You know, the real talkative and chatterbox type.

Then there was also some childlike boy called Mike who introduced himself. He acted all nice and friendly but I could see past that. It was all in the eyes. I was good at that, seeing the truth behind peoples faces. It was almost as if I could read their minds. Not long after a few more people joined us. Angela and Ben. They seemed like genuine and kind people. I liked that. But it always confused me how some people could be like that when life was so depressing.

"So what do you think of Forks?" I turned towards Jessica.

"It's pretty good actually, but I could do without the cold and the rain though" I faked a smile. _Another thing that I'm good at. _She laughed at my answer.

"Yeah it must be real different from… what is it Phoenix?"

"Yeah, all the way in Arizona."

Mike joined in our conversation. "Aren't people from Arizona supposed to be like really tanned or something?" A six year old could tell that he disliked me. His question fixating on my pale skin was a subtle attempt at making me seem less attractive to Jessica, who he obviously liked. _Douchebag._

"Yeah, I guess so" I replied.

Mike laughed and began conversing excitedly with Jessica about some movie that they saw or something. Ben and Angela joined in while my attention drifted across the crowded room.

It was your average school cafeteria, filled with loud exited students, agitated lunch ladies serving some kind of slush that they called food and a group of angels sitting in the corner quietly talking amongst themselves. _Wait a minute, that's not right. _My eyes made its way back towards four of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. They had this aura of beauty just pulsating out of them as they poked at their uneaten food. But the thing that struck me most was how ghostly white each and every one of their faces were, it was like there was no blood pumping underneath their smooth skin.

There were 2 guys and 2 girls. One of the guys was massive. He was at least 6 foot tall with short dark brown hair. He was built like a wrestler with thick cords of muscle filling his large frame. One of his large arms was draped around a ridiculously attractive blonde girl. Not that the others weren't attractive, it was just that she seemed even more attractive even when sitting next to the others. The other guy was tall and lean with a combination of dark brown and bleached blonde hair. He was conversing quietly with the other two.

Then there was the person sitting the furthest away from the group, pretending to be in the conversation, but was clearly not interested. She had wild, spiky, dark brown hair shooting in all different directions. She was the smallest of the group and seemed quite petite, kind of like a pixie. She laughed and smiled like the rest of them, acting happy, but her golden eyes told me more. I could see behind her pearly white smile, she was hiding something. As I watched, her head turned and suddenly her eyes met mine. For a split second, I saw complete sadness in her topaz eyes, right before I turned away.

"They're the Cullens."

"Huh?" I turned to see Mike smiling at me.

"Those people who you were just staring at. They're the Cullen family"

"They're all related?" They all looked alike enough to be related, but it just didn't seem right.

"Sort of. They're all adopted by Carlisle Cullen. They all live with him in his mansion somewhere up in the forest."

"The big one is Emmet." Jessica joined in.

"The hot blonde is Rosalie" Mike grinned. "But she's already taken" He pointed towards Emmet.

"The other blonde who looks like he's constipated is Jasper. And the cheerful little girl who looks like a Pixie, is Alice."

_Alice. _Apparently she had everybody fooled with her fake grins and laughter apart from me.

"They're all freaks" Mike added. Jessica shot him a dirty look and he shrugged.

Then Angela joined in on the conversation.

"They keep to themselves a bit. Kinda anti-social. They're weird, but they're not freaks."

The bell rang and the cafeteria was filled with the sound of scraping chairs and the pissed off moans of students. I took one last look at the Cullens, especially the one named Alice, before I too, left for class.

**Authors Note: Hey thanks for reading. Sorry this is so short and rushed but I have exams : ( and I wanted to get this out as soon as possible. Remember to comment, review, criticise(constructively) and/or suggest what should happen next. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the content based in the Twilight series **

**Chapter 3 **

I sat alone at a desk in the biology classroom, reluctantly replaying a vision that I had a couple of weeks ago. The same one that plagued me every night and turned from a once happy and carefree pixie to a tortured hundred year old vampire. A part of me asked why I was putting myself through this pain when I didn't have to, and the other part knew why. I was putting myself through this because this particular vision, which began the same as the others, ended with something different.

_I stood alone in a small opening in the middle of a forest. The trees shot up towards the sky and blocked out all light. A tear leaked out of my eye__ and rolled down my frozen cheek and clung to my chin. It formed into a droplet and as it grew larger it held on for dear life. Finally, the tear gave way and cascaded towards the decomposing forest floor. But before I could hear the sound of the tiny _splash _of the first droplet, another tear began to form. As the tears gushed out of my soulless body, I felt nothing. I could not feel the freezing air, I could not feel moisture that each tear left behind. I was alone, numb, and I would be forever. But this time, as I stood crying in the forest, I realised that I was not alone. I wiped away the tears to see a teenage boy standing a few metres away from me._

As quickly as the vision came, it disappeared. It was merely a clouded glimpse that probably didn't mean anything. After all, my visions were subjective, and could change completely is someone changed their mind. But even if it was only a hazy glimpse, it felt good to see something that didn't end in my tears.

The haze and the boy were the only things that separated that vision from the others, but it was that one boy that made all the difference. I was usually alone in my visions and that was what made them so unbearable. But with the boy standing only a few metres away, all that pain and dread was gone, the loneliness and fear diminished. That vision was a little break from all the sadness and despair that usually felt and although it didn't last long, it was enough.

With tears in my eyes I could not see the face of the boy clearly but through the haze I could see a pair of shining green eyes. So when I saw the same pair or bright green eyes at the cafeteria, I didn't know how or when, but I knew that he was the only chance I had of salvation. He was the only one that could stop the pain in my broken heart.

So when he stepped through the door my mind completely shut down. I had no idea what to do. I was staring at my only hope of a better life. Time came to a complete standstill as he stood in doorway, emerald eyes locked with mine. I knew that he could see the sadness in my eyes, my longing for solace, and I saw that exact same look in his.

He broke eye contact as he made his way towards the teacher. Mr Banner handed him a pile of second-hand textbooks and pointed him in the direction of the only free seat in the classroom, the vacant space next to me.

As he approached I was hit unexpectedly by his scent. When you've been a "vegetarian' for your entire vampire life, your self control is something to be admired. Having never had that that warm crimson essence touching your lips helps prevent your from going into a frenzy when coming into contact with humans. But as he got closer I felt my self control slipping and found a new sense of curiosity as to what human blood would taste like. I let out a low growl inaudible to human ears as my mouth filled itself with my tainted venom.

_No. _

I struggled to calm myself down as he got closer. I knew that there was a chance that I would not be able to control myself and that I'd break my clean streak, but I knew that if I did, my entire families life could shatter. So I did what I could to hold myself back. I tightened my lungs to squeeze out all of air that contained his contaminated scent. I stopped breathing altogether and bit my bottom lip as hard as I could to distract me from him. I forced my head down so that no one would see the look of murder in my pitch black eyes.

_No. I am not going to lose control, especially not now. Not when I have a chance at something better. No. _

Every muscle in my body tightened as I felt his overwhelming aroma wrap itself around me, trying to tempt me into becoming something that I didn't want to be.

My throat burned as the monster inside of me screamed to be let out of its cage. I was determined to keep it locked up, but it didn't help when I could literally feel every movement that his fragile body made. It didn't help when I could feel every pulse as his heart pumped that crimson, life-giving nectar around his body, tempting the monster further.

I could hear his breathing, silent to ordinary ears. It stayed at a perfectly normal speed. He was calm, relaxed. He was not afraid. Nor should he be, he was completely oblivious to the internal battle that was raging inside of me. He was lucky that I was so strong. That I was on his side of the fight.

But then is heart rate began to quicken. Not so much as if he'd somehow found out that I was teetering on the brink of tearing his neck open and sucking the life out of him. No. His heart beat slightly increased in pace. I risked a look up to see what could cause such a thing.

Once again our eyes met and his heard beat spiked. It was a stupid decision. He saw how dark with thirst my eyes were and that must of scared him. I awkwardly looked down again and pretended to be focusing on my work.

I shut my eyes tightly as I felt a vision consuming my thoughts.

_It was of me. My tiny body was kneeled over a stone cold corpse. _His _corpse, sprawled lifelessly across the linoleum classroom floor. I brought my face up from his mutilated neck and licked the blood off of my lips, savouring every drop. I looked up with crimson eyes and stared at the horrified faces of all the other students. _

_No. I couldn't believe what I had done. I had broken the one promise that I made to the only person that I had ever loved. I had killed a human. I had given my soul to the devil. _

_And that wasn't even the worst part. The worst part was that I even didn't regret it._

_Jessica Stanley was the first to scream. I recoiled like a snake and prepared to pounce. I was no longer Alice Cullen. No. Not any more. I was just an animal. A monster. _

**Authors Note: **

**Hey thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I know this chapters a little incoherent and messy but I've been really busy and haven't had tome to edit, think ideas through etc… **

**Anyways, don't forget to review and comment. Thanks. **


End file.
